Why Moments with the Mama?

My beautiful and beloved mama had a persistent cough 8 weeks ago and now she has stage 4 cancer and her only treatment is palliative. I adore my mama and while we have had our good and bad times our relationship has mostly been very good. So I feel very lucky that I can take leave from my job and buy an old camper van grab my almost 16-year-old son and our toy poodle and come down to be with mum for however long she has left.

Slotting in back at home 30 something years after leaving certainly presents some obstacles- we are all very different people today. Mum's little house is full just with Mama and Poppy and they have very graciously cleared space for my son Sage to have a bedroom and I am out in the van overnight with Indi the poodle.

I am very grateful to have this time with my precious mama, she lost her mother at 23 with her first baby in her arms, that was me- so many years without a mother and so many years of mothering without that mentor. I have called my mama a million times to discuss mothering with her and have long sorrowed for her loss.

Finding my space, my role is another delicate balance- Poppy has taken great care of mama for the last few years as she has managed various autoimmune issues. So far I am keeping track of and taking mama to most of her appointments, She has a lovely new car and has hardly been able to drive it. Keeping good records and sharing the cooking with mama, especially when she is not up to it and one other thing I have started is making sure we do at least one thing that is just for fun or special in another way.